Self- Love is Selfish! Is it? I personally think this is a myth. Just one of many. Therefore, promotion of self-love is really important for physical health, and health in general. Because of that Classy Business Women team has decided to talk about this topic and debunk some of the greatest myths related to loving yourself.
As we grow up we learn to take care of others before ourselves. In many ways, we grow up as “guardians” of other people’s feelings, emotions, and hearts. We are taught to be aware of all these things and may even notice them naturally. But we can basically develop dependent tendencies, which means that our own moods, feelings, and emotions can deeply influence the actions and thoughts of others regardless of our well-being or our own desires / needs.
Sometimes it can go unnoticed for years or decades, becoming a habit we don’t notice until we suddenly feel burned out, mentally exhausted, or know when we last really did something for ourselves and no one else.
What self love means?
As you may know, self-love is usually precepted as vanity, narcissisms- something negative. This is the biggest myth and mistake. The truth is totally different. Self-love is a state of self-gratitude that grows out of actions that support our physical, psychological, and spiritual growth. It means respect for one’s own well-being and happiness. Also, it means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to satisfy others. Self-love means not settling for less than you deserve.
Different people can find different meanings, because we all have many different ways to take care of ourselves. Discovering how self-love looks to you as an individual is an important part of your mental health.
Is self-love selfish?
We tend to think that self-love is “selfish” because it goes against the established way of thinking. We worry that if we focus on ourselves more than on anyone else, we will not be able to provide support, love, and care to others. It is true that caring for you first gives you the opportunity to give more to others. Loving yourself is not a selfish thing to do. On the contrary, it’s crucial for your self-growth. Remember one thing- You can’t pour from an empty cup!
How Self love Affects Relationships?
We’ve all this him say, “You can’t love other people until you learn to love yourself.” It’s kind of a hard-to-swallow pill, and to be such a simple statement, it might sound super complicated. Let me start by saying that this statement is the truth. Self-love plays a huge role in our relationships with others. Whether it’s romantic relationships or friendships, the way we treat each other will always be reflected in the quality of our relationships. Therefore, I think it is important to recognize and fully understand how self-love affects the love we give and receive from others.
Can you practice self love in a relationship?
Yes, absolutely. There are different opinions and views regarding this topic, but we can say that you can learn to love yourself when in a relationship. There’s a theory that says that we actually love that other person when we are in love because we are similar. When we look at our partner, we look at ourselves- it’s a mirror effect. Basically, what you love about yourself, you will love about other people.
This means that we can focus on the things we like about ourselves, our traits, possibilities that makes us feel good. By doing that, we are focusing on love, on good things, and improving our communication, relationships, and the way we treat other people.
Can you Learn to Love Yourself?
So much popular self-help advice suggests that we must “learn to love ourselves.” It’s good advice, but how exactly do we do it?
It’s not so simple: We often believe that we do love ourselves, and yet our actions and reactions suggest otherwise. Loving yourself is essential to your personal growth, fulfilling your dreams, and developing healthy, happy relationships with others. Instead of trying to just talk yourself into believing you love yourself, foster compassion for yourself by following our list bellow. And remember- The more you practice self-love and self-gratitude, the more benefits you’re gonna experience.
How to practice self love?
Finally we share our Ultimate Self-Love List:
- Firstly, start each day by telling yourself something positive. For example: How well you did something, how lovely you look or just be grateful. Anything that will make you smile.
- Secondly, remember to fill your body with food and drink that nourishes it and makes it thrive. Move that gorgeous body of yours every single day and learn to love the skin you’re in. You can’t hate your way into loving yourself.
- Don’t believe everything you think. There is an inner critic inside of us trying to keep us small and safe. The downside is this also stops us from living a full life. You can calm your inner monkey by meditating.
- It’s all about energy. Surround yourself with people who love and encourage you. Let them remind you just how amazing you are.
- Stop comparing yourself.. There is no one on this planet like you, so you cannot fairly compare yourself to someone else. The only person you should compare yourself to is you. Try to be a better person than you were yesterday and that’s all.
- End all toxic relationships. Seriously. Anyone who makes you feel anything less than amazing doesn’t deserve to be a part of your life.
- Celebrate your wins no matter how big or small. Pat yourself on the back and be proud of what you have achieved.
- Step outside of your comfort zone and try something new. It’s incredible the feeling we get when we realize we have achieved something we didn’t know or think we could do before.
- Embrace and love the things that make you different. This is what makes you unique. Realize that beauty cannot be defined. It is what you see it as. Don’t let any of those Instagram accounts or magazines make you feel like your body isn’t perfect. Even those models don’t look like that in real life. and remember – You were born an original, don’t die a copy.
- Follow your passion. You know that thing that gets you so excited but scares you at the same time. If your dreams don’t scare you they are not big enough.
- Take time out to calm your mind every day. Breathe in and out, clear your mind of your thoughts and just be. Try following our meditation guide and find your inner peace.
- Be patient, but persistent. Self-love is ever-evolving. It’s something that needs to be practiced daily but can take a lifetime to master. So be kind and support yourself through the hard times.
- Be mindful of what you think, feel and want. Live your life in ways that truly reflect this. Always try to stay present by focusing on your breath.
- Treat others with love and respect. It makes us feel better about ourselves when we treat others the way we hope to be treated. That doesn’t mean everybody will always repay the favor, but that’s their problem not yours.
- Find something to be grateful for every day. You are inevitably going to have your down days. This is fine and very human of you. It’s essential on these days to find at least one thing you are grateful for as it helps to shift your mind and energy around what’s going on.
- Reach out to family, friends who will help you through the tough times. You are not expected to go through them alone.
- Learn to say no. Saying no sometimes doesn’t make you a bad person, it makes you a smart person. You should learn to choose your battles.
- Write down your thoughts. Head swimming with so many thoughts it’s giving you a headache? Write them all down on a piece of paper, no matter how crazy, mean, sad, or terrifying they are. Keep it in a journal, tear it up, burn it, whatever you need to do to let it go.
- Forgive yourself. You know that thing you did one time (or maybe a few times) that made you feel bad, embarrassed, ashamed? It’s time to let that go. You can’t change the things you have done in the past but you can control your future. Look at it as a learning experience and believe in your ability to change.
- Turn off and inwards. Grab a cup of your favorite coffee, wine or tea- whatever your choice of drink, and sit down for a few minutes on your own. No TV or distractions, just you. Think about the wonderful things that are happening in your life right now, what your big dreams are and how you can make them happen.
- Give up the need for approval from others. What others think of you is none of your problems. There will always be someone who dislikes you, and that is perfectly fine. – When you stop caring about other people opinions, that is the moment you are free.
- It’s OK not to feel OK. No person on this earth is happy every single moment of every single day. You know why? Because we are all human. We make mistakes, we feel emotions (good and bad) and this is OK. Allow yourself to be human.
- Get creative and express yourself in whatever way you like. Painting, writing, sculpting, building, music, whatever takes your fancy, and make sure you leave your inner critic at the door. There are no right ways to be creative.
- Let that sh*t GO! Learn how to let go of past trauma and wounds. This can be really tough and it may be one of those times you need to turn to others for support. And that is alight. Try to forgive yourself and others and you will feel like a weight is lifted off our shoulders. We don’t have to carry that around with us anymore. We deserve better.
- Find your happy place. Where’s the one place you feel totally at ease, calm, happy, positive, high on life? Go to that place when you are going through hard times, or imagine yourself being there. Think about how it feels, what it smells like, what it looks like.
- The next time you are feeling happy and on top of the world make a list of your best qualities and accomplishments. It may sound a little corny, but it can be a wonderful reminder when you are having a day that’s less than amazing.
- Get in touch with your inner dialogue. If it’s anything less than loving, encouraging and supportive, it’s time to make a change. You deserve to be spoken to in the same way you would speak to your best friend, sister, brother, daughter, or son.
- Have fun! Get out there and do the things that light your fire. Enjoy them, enjoy being you and enjoy your incredible life.
With much love,